Successful Relationship Reminders from Infants about Presence

As adults, we think we're so much more sophisticated than infants.  But that can be our downfall in building healthy relationships. We can end up with things being overly complicated, over-analyzed, too highly refined until we've taken the juice, the goodies right out of the relationship. Then it becomes dry and boring—exactly the opposite of the fun, nourishing and supportive relationship we want. Infants have everything to teach us in that regard.  They remind us that all successful relationships are built using the same tasks and methods ithey use. And, infants have to be successful at engaging others - their lives depend on it! Straight out of the womb, what's the first thing infants do to engage people? In short, they are present. For the first several hours after they arrive in the world of air, they are alert, searching for eye contact, listening, paying attention to their surroundings. That's a primary clue to building a successful relationship. In adult terms, to put it bluntly, we need to "show up!" Is this just some cute idea? Absolutely not. Whether you're building a new relationship or evaluating one, consider how you and the other person show up in the relationship. Are you present? Not just in body, but in mind and spirit? Do you have times when you totally pay attention to the other person in the same, totally-present way a newborn pays attention? You can do this and still keep your boundaries and do other things. It's not necessary to provide this kind of attention 24 hours a day. In fact, bouts of quality attention - even though they're short - can go a very long way to creating loving feelings with each other. There's no better way to say "I love you" or 'I care about you" than to give your complete attention to the other person at least some of the time. In fact, failure to do so is a major source of friction and fights in partnerships and marriages. Indeed, correcting this one little thing contributes in a major way toward transforming that pain and upset into a loving, mutually satisfying and secure connection with each other. This principle is also just as significant in any other kind of relationship: employer-employee relationships, or in teacher-student relationships. You can manage this showing- up- and- being -present even during times in your life when your schedule is packed. For it to accomplish its purpose however, just be sure to really be present and pay full attention with all your being when you do it. And even during times when you can't pull that off, you can communicate the desire to be present with the other person. You can say you want to be with them and make a plan for doing it. And then, to state the obvious, when it's time to carry out the plan, show up and do it!   For More Information Click Here

Source White Market

Successful Relationships:Reminders from Infants about Feelings

Infants need to create successful relationships because their lives depend on it. And infants can't distract themselves from their feeling states like adults can.  Like it or not, their lives revolve around feelings.  That's why we can learn so much from them about the role of our emotional states in building successful relationships - in other words,  What can infants teach us about that?

Here are some of their lessons for us:

1. Feeling is central to being alive. Everybody we have a relationship with is alive and therefore has feelings, even though they have different styles of dealing with them. Emotional states are as fundamental as breathing.

2. Communicating feelings is as natural and basic as breathing. Infants just flat-out express their emotional experience without apology. They teach us that including these states as part of a relationship - both in our own selves and with others - is natural and normal.

3. Having feeling states accurately received and accepted - by ourselves - and by another - is massively comforting. Infants communicate feelings non stop... until.... yes, UNTIL they experience it's been accurately received by the other person. Then they feel sooooo much better. That doesn't change just because we're adults. We, too, want our emotional state to be accurately received and interpreted, both by ourselves, and by another.

We can practice receiving and accurately interpreting feelings so we can do it well. The place to start is with ourselves. For example:

• "I'm so mad right now, on a scale of one to ten, I'm an eleven." 
• "That scared me so much I'm shaking." 
• "I know I'm anxious, I just don't know what I'm anxious about... yet." 

We can also practice with others: 

• "Wow, you're really mad about this, huh!"   
•  "That sounds terrifying, were you (are you) scared?" 

If you're not sure what the other person is saying, you can gently ask for clarification: "Are you sad? (Mad? Glad? Scared?) about this?" "Are you saying you're hurt that..."

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The Two Most Important Relationship Messages

Failure to Include Them Could Sabotage
Your Relationships and Even Your Life

Ask someone if they'd rather deal with all the anguish of a relationship gone sour, which can feel like being sucker-punched in the gut, or having their heart ripped out, or being hit with a brick bat, or keeping the relationship, a lot of people might chose to keep the relationship.

That's how much it can hurt. There's all that pain of loss, and then there's also all that self-doubt and recrimination: "Where did I go wrong?","What's the matter with me?", "I'll never succeed!" and on and on.

Add to all that the fact that one relationship going bad affects so many other ones. Because you were friends with the friends of your friend, or you were included in family get-togethers because of your relationship with the person with whom you cannot-now-be-with, out of respect for them, their friends and relations now start creating distance from you. It's enough to make you want to crawl into the fetal position and suck your thumb!

The short story is, we're best off to prevent this from happening in the first place as far as we are able. Yes, your social and emotional life can work well and proceed in a positive way, especially if you don't make these two of the most common mistakes.

While it's definitely true that the above outcome sometimes simply cannot be avoided, still, what can you do minimize the likelihood? The following are two key messages that summarize this.

Number One: Send the message to yourself (in service of your own emotional life) and to others you relate to, that it's OK to be connected, to be emotionally close, to share your true thoughts and feelings (in a kind and considerate way) both with yourself and for others to share theirs with you.

Number Two: Send the message, (again, both to yourself and to others), that it's OK to be separate, to be an individual person, to have your own wants, needs, your own life.

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Source White Market

Symptoms and Types of Eczema

Eczema is a skin condition that causes inflammation of the skin. The general symptoms of eczema include:
. Itching - intense, unbearable itching
. Scaling - this happens when the surface of the skin gets flaky which makes the skin look rough and scaly
. Redness - Caused in part by the person scratching the afflicted area, the redness is very blotchy and may sometimes bleed
. Blisters - these are fluid-filled which ooze and form painful crusts
. Cracking - deep fissures are caused by eczema, which are very painful.
Though these are overall symptoms, there are also three types of eczema which effect sufferers in different ways. These three types are called Atopic Dermatitis, Contact Dermatitis, Dyshidrotic Dermatitis, Nummular Dermatitis, Neurodermatitis, Sebrorrheic Dermatitis, and Stasis Dermatitis.
Atopic Dermatitis is the most common form of this skin condition. It usually affects skin on the face, hands, feet, inner elbows, and the back of the knees.
Contact Dermatitis comes in two forms: irritant contact dermatitis and allergic contact dermatitis. These types of eczema happen when something comes in contact with the skin and damage it. Irritant contact dermatitis develops after touching a strong irritant, even just one time. These irritants can include cosmetics, poison ivy, or even nickel. Allergic contact dermatitis can happen with anything that triggers an allergic reaction with the skin.
Dyshidrotic Dermatitis affects just the hands and feet. The symptoms begin with a severe itching. Soon, blisters form, which soon give way to scaly patchiness. This is both chronic and painful.
Nummular Dermatitis usually affects men in their mid-50s. The red, coin-shaped Susans are the signature symptom of this version of eczema, which can appear on the legs, back of hands, forearms, lower back, and hips.
Neurodermatitis is a type of eczema that appears in spots that people scratch just out of habit. Usually, these spots include back, neck, genitals, scalp, wrists, ankles, and ears. The areas can grow very thick and get deeply wrinkled. Because the itching is out of habit, it very frequently can get very wrinkled and become infected easily.
Seborheic dermatitis is also known as dandruff. In small children, it only affects the scalp, but in adults it also affects the eyebrows, nose, ears, groin, and chest. This type of eczema causes the skin to get flaky and fall off.
Finally, Stasis Dermatitis happens with people who have low blood pressure, especially when the veins in their legs don't properly return the blood to their heart. This condition can crop up quickly, causing the skin to ooze and crust. This type of eczema can also cause brown spots.
As you can see, there are a number of types of eczema. Fortunately, there are also a number of ways to cure it. However, the best defense is a good offense, so if you find yourself with these symptoms, preventing it from creeping up is your best line of defense. Keeping skin hydrated, and avoiding prolonged water exposure can greatly decrease your chances of eczema from cropping up. Knowing what type of eczema you have will increase the likelihood of you keeping it away, for good.

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Source White Market

The Ultimate Guide to Defeat Eczema - Review

When my daughter got the eczema diagnosis, I was floored. Here was this beautiful, bright baby with a severe skin disorder. You could tell she was miserable, in pain, and I knew that there wasn't a lot I could do about it. The doctors offered up prescription moisturizers, but those only offered temporary relief. I couldn't stand to see my little girl like that, in pain, and with no way to help her. I, myself, felt totally helpless, and I knew there must be something I could do... but what?
This is when I began my search. To be honest, I found a lot of hooey. Snake oil, I like to call it. People claiming to have the one medicine that will cure it forever.. For the low, low price of $129.99 per application.
There was NO WAY I was putting that stuff on my daughter. NO WAY was I going to put a cream on my child that wasn't FDA-approved. I'm no dummy; I've seen horror stories before. It was then I realized that there must be some all-natural remedy, something I could do that didn't involve putting unknown chemicals all over my infant.
This is when I found Susan Thompson, and his book The Ultimate Guide to Defeat Eczema

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When I opened it up, I found EXACTLY what I was looking for: all natural remedies for my daughter's eczema, AND all-natural ways to prevent it from returning.
I have to admit, I was surprised. Susan showed me how little things I'd been doing, in an attempt to help her, had really been causing the flare-ups to worsen. He showed me which additives that are added to the lotions and soaps I'd bought to help her, actually increased the likelihood of increased symptoms.
In addition, he showed me how to treat those flare-ups.
Now, 4 months later, I'm floored by the effect this is having on us. Now that I know what causes her flare-ups, I've been able to significantly cut back the number of times she gets flare ups. And, when she does get a flare up, I'm able to treat it quickly and efficiently, so my baby isn't in prolonged pain.
Now, don't get me wrong: this is a lifestyle change. This is a change that my family had to make together and one which we must remain constant with in order to see results. But, see results we do. and for that reason alone it's worth all the effort.
But, don't just take my word for it; check it out for yourself {link}. And, after you've found some relief, let me know your story too!

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Source White Market

Work – Life Balance and Yoga

After a surge of interest during the consciousness-conscious '60s, yoga began to fall out of favor. Exercisers apparently lost patience with the activity, which offers slow but steady results, and turned to the fast pace and quick shape-up of aerobics. Now yoga is back-less mystical than in the past, less reminiscent of gurus in pretzel positions, and more attractive than ever to people who are interested in working out rather than working toward some spiritual goal.

Once you step out of the metaphysical atmosphere, yoga is a great stretch and flexibility program. Yoga is increasingly being used by those who are having a trouble in balancing their work and personal life. A stressful working environment and a hectic schedule has a telling impact on the personal lives of the modern day executives and so they are turning to yoga to bring about a peace of their mind and to adopt a perfect work-life balance.

Also, many disgruntled runners, weight trainers and aerobic dancers complain that instead of reducing the stress in their lives, their exercise regimes add more.

People rush to work out every day at lunch, force themselves to keep up and then rushed back to work. Surely, it does something good for them, but it is just another pressure. Yoga is less competitive, less stressful, and above all gives a wonderful feeling of being.

Indeed, the healing aspect of yoga is a key to its renewed popularity. The strained knees, aching backs and neck pains generated by the push for fitness and the stress of making it in a competitive world have inspired a packaged set of a book and audio cassettes. Some orthopedic surgeons, chiropractors and neurologists are now referring patients to specific yogis during treatment.

Growing interest in the mind-body connection is fueling a major comeback of the ancient practice, boosted by research suggesting it can reduce stress and blood pressure, improve work performance, even slow effects of aging.

Several techniques are now being taught in mainstream hospitals and businesses; books about them are brisk sellers and discussion groups have sprung up on the Internet.

Even the Army is interested - it has asked the National Academy of Sciences to study meditation and other new age techniques that might enhance soldiers' performance.

Details differ, but a common theme is relaxing the body while keeping the mind alert and focused - on an object, sound, breath or body movement. If the mind wanders - and it always does - you gently bring it back and start again

Stress-related problems account for 60percent to 90percent of U.S. doctor visits, and mind-body approaches often are more effective, and cost-effective, than drugs or surgery. For example, 34percent of infertile patients get pregnant within six months, 70percent of insomniacs become regular sleepers and doctor visits for pain are reduced 36percent.

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Source White Market

Yoga and Sports: Tennis

Tennis requires cat-like reflexes with short bursts of strength. These short movements do not allow the muscles to extend their full length. When muscles are strenuously worked they become tight and can lose their elasticity unless properly stretched. Yoga exercises can increase the body's range of motion. The lack of movement because of inflexibility binds the joints. Without the elasticity of the muscles, I think an athlete can be a prisoner within his own body.

Using yoga techniques makes it possible to retrain the muscles. Most tennis athletes play in a constant state of muscle tension. Yoga trains the body to relax muscle tension. Learning to begin your game in a relaxed state could mean gaining an extra step on the ball.

When in a ready position muscles are contracted and ready for action. To move, muscles must be relaxed and then contracted again to spring in any direction. By retraining the muscles you begin from a relaxed position, giving a quickened reaction time.

Yoga breathing exercises can help improve endurance and stamina. When exerting in sports or exercise we often hold the breath as a way to create strength. Yoga trains the body to create strength through breathing control. Holding the breath at points of exertion takes a great deal of energy that could be used during long sets or matches.

Learning the correct way while doing a yoga pose is simple. Exhale during the execution of a pose until you feel the muscles' full length of stretch (maximum resistance). Never hold your breath. Breathe normally and listen to the body. Hold for 30 seconds, then release the pose slowly. By constant practice of yoga poses you'll soon apply breathing techniques in everyday routines.

A simple spine twist is excellent for rotational sports. It can help increase needed flexibility of the shoulders and back and hips. Remember to apply the breathing technique to this pose.

Begin the spine twist by sitting on the floor with both legs straight out in front of you. Keeping the spine straight, bend the left leg placing the left foot on the outside of the right knee. Now, place the left hand on the floor behind you with your arm straight and the right elbow bent. Positioned on the outside of the left thigh place the right hand on the left hip.

Slowly exhale while turning the head and upper body to the left, looking over the left shoulder. Pressure from the right arm should keep the left leg stationary while pressure from the left arm and torso gives you the twist. Stronger use of both arms increases the twist. Hold this pose for 30 seconds and repeat twist on the opposite side.

A total body conditioning and flexibility routine is essential for the avid tennis player. Yoga techniques could be the edge you need in developing your game.

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Source White Market